Dallas-Opoly is Kind of Lame

At some point, on a birthday or at Christmas, you have probably received a themed version of Monopoly from a well intentioned relative.  Regardless of your varied interests, there is most likely a version of the popular board game meant to stuff your stocking.  To further our speculation, you probably opened it once, maybe even played it, and then put it on the shelf reserved for things you never touch.

All that preamble is to bring up the topic of "Dallas-opoly," which I found at Walmart recently.  Admittedly, expectations were high.  Perhaps too high to live up to.  Upon cracking open the box here is a professionally photographed marketing picture representing what I found:

The upside includes that all properties have been renamed as Dallas locations (with the exception of the Mesquite Rodeo which is included for some reason).  For example, the famed locations of "Boardwalk" & "Park Place" are now Reunion Tower and Fair Park.  Here's a look at some of the deeds:

Great shout-outs to locations in the city but other than the names, that's about it.  No location pictures, or specific information is added to the game and they all seem to be arbitrarily assigned to groups.  Additionally, the traditional "Chance" and "Community Chest" cards are replaced with "Contingency" and "Big Fun" cards.  Many of them aren't Dallas-specific but here's a sample that are:

My final complaint, and biggest disappointment, is the game pieces.  The totally generic tokens include a hand (maybe for Big Tex's hand?), a star (Lone Star, ok I get it but c'mon), a heart, a cowboy boot and a cowboy hat.  Sure, some of these can be related to Dallas but you can't tell me that most of these don't show up in Houston-opoly or even Sante Fe-opoly. 

There are surely better choices that specifically relate to Dallas and even though no one asked me I decided to make suggestions:

Making the pieces Reunion Tower, the Woofus, the Dallas Zoo Giraffe, the Pegasus, the Chapel of Thanksgiving and Big Tex would have gone a long way towards saving this game.  I can only hope that the makers of "Dallas Scrabble" and "Dallas Candyland" are taking note of this.