Follow the Leaders

Previously:

My Spidey Sense in Jingling  - -  The X-Men Visit the State Fair 

Houston Heroes  - -  Spidey Visits Dallas   - -  Sea of Good Cheer 

Check out the headline:  "Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Missing!"  It's time, once again, to dive into another Dallas Times Herald Marvel freebie comic.  This time it's not just superheroes doing their thing, we get America's Sweethearts as special guest stars!

The year was 1982 and our adventure begins with Peter Parker and his childhood friend Fran finishing up a shopping spree at a north Texas Sanger-Harris (who sponsored the comic).

After the stiff wind of exposition blows through Dallas, it's replaced with the rain storms of plot advancement as the cheerleaders get lost on the way to their performance at Fort Sage (which seems to be in California).

Instead of finding the army base, they find an army base and decide it's probably the one they were looking for.  After all, it's not like the people there were acting suspicious or anything...

By the way, that lady in the cowboy hat appears to be legendary former DCC director Suzanne Mitchell.  I was wondering if "Fran" was also based on a real person, and I found a Francis Roberson that was an assistant director around this time period but I couldn't confirm if she ever knew Spider-Man.

After the "army" guys get the girls situated in the conference room with promises of hot coffee and not being murdered, we get to see what's really going on in this facility.

Yep, it's the Leader, an evil mastermind who was mutated in a similar accident that created the Hulk.  But instead of increasing his physical strength, the gamma radiation increased his mental abilities making him super smart (according to him).

Well, it doesn't take long for Fran and the gals to get suspicious.  She sneaks around the base to find a phone (remember the 80s?) and call her old pal Peter Parker.  So Peter's alter ego, Spider-Man, starts the hunt!  When he turns up nothing, his only recourse to arbitrarily swing around the desert.  It doesn't take too long before he runs into another old friend...

The Hulk was just wondering around the desert (as he does), punching tanks (as he does) when he ran afoul of the fake army guys.  It doesn't take too long for Spidey, the Hulk and the Cheerleaders to all converge on the Leader's compound for a final battle.

Nothing gets things sorted out like a great big explosion.  With the bad guys defeated, the Hulk wanders off and the Cheerleaders were free to go find the actual army base where they put on one their best shows.

And Peter Parker was able to get the pictures.  Although it looks like, instead of the Daily Bugle, he may be freelancing for "Cheerleader Butts Magazine."  C'mon Pete...we know what you're doing...at least try to be subtle.

And the story ends as it begins with Peter and Fran doing some more shopping at Sanger-Harris.  Most adventures end with a sense of relief and maybe a trip to the emergency room but this one ends with a job offer. 

I'll leave you today with a Superman-esque character tempting readers with the idea of a Dallas Times Herald paper route:

Sea of Good Cheer

1979 was a heck of a year.  From the introduction of the Happy Meal to the premier of the Dukes of Hazzard, the year was chock full of cultural touchstones.  Two fo the biggest at the time were The Love Boat and the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders...so it was only a matter of time before the inevitable happened:

Yes, not only did the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders guest star on the Love Boat, but they were featured in a two part episode right int he middle of sweeps!

The two-parter also featured Hollywood icons Douglas Fairbanks Jr. and Ginger Rogers as well as television icons John Hillerman ("Higgins" from Magnum P.I. and a native Texan), Larry Linville (from M*A*S*H), Natalie Schafer (Mrs. Howell from Gilligan's Island) and Bill Daily (The Bob Newhart Show, I Dream of Jeannie)...not to mention a young Jackie Earle Haley!  Whew!  Now that's a sweeps lineup!

The gals are aboard the Pacific Princess to perform at a charity show to benefit orphans or something.  And while they are there they a few of them get caught up in some romantic hijinks.  It is the Love Boat, after all...

One of the stories involves Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader Wendy who's mother is getting married and is meeting her new stepfather for the first time.  The plot of this one involves the mother, Helen, thinking her fiancee and daughter share a mutual attraction and that they plan to run away together.  This is resolved by the two of them telling her it's not true...so I guess that's kind of a story, right?

Wendy is played by Gaye Carter, a real life Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader.  This seems to be her only acting credit and she now works in real estate.  So if you've always wanted to buy a house from a former member of the world's most famous cheer squad, then that seems to be an option now.

Another of the stories has another cheerleader, Stacy, being stalked by a guy whose only interest seems to be stalking her.  He bought a ticket to the cruise to be near her which seems like it would make this a dramatic subplot for the show but, no, it's played for laughs and those crazy kids end up together in the end.

Stacy is played by Tami Barber, another real life squad member.  She also played the recurring role of "Bev" on Dallas (the TV show, not the city) but, other than a few small roles here and there, that seems to be about it for her acting career.  I'm not sure if she made it to the real estate game or not.

Both gals did a great job and I was genuinely surprised to find out they weren't professional actors.  Other stories in the episode involved a jewel heist, a guy hiring actors to pretend to be his family and a sparring couple who realize they were meant for each other.  It was a busy cruise.  But enough of that, let's see the show!

Thanks for the memories, gals!  We'll see ya on the sidelines!