Mad About Dallas

Previously:

Dallas Trading Cards - -  Family Tradition

We've covered the TV phenomenon Dallas several times before and will continue to do so.  With a world wide reach, a long network run, multiple series, TV movies and tons of merchandise, there's no limit to the amount of acclaim and celebration generated by the franchise.

But in the 70's and 80's there was one honor that stood out above the rest.  Dallas became a genuine legend when it was not only parodied, but made the cover of MAD Magazine:

 
At the time, very few movies, TV shows and celebrities would find themselves safe from being skewered by the popular lampoon magazine.  The Dallas parody was written by Lou Silverstone with art by Mort Drucker, both of them Mad Magazine legends.  As usual, it begins with the main cast introducing themselves:

The "plot," such as it is, involves J.R. (or "J.D." rather) trying to pull off a land swindle while being stymied by his wife and mother.  All the while, he's being chastised by hie family, pondering the paternity of his son, "interviewing" new secretaries and firing his six shooter in the air as display of his dominance.

During the course of plotting his scheme "J.D." is constantly being told what a slimy schemer he is by just about everyone he sees.   After getting "Sullen" (Sue Ellen) committed, he then proceeds to send "Jerk" (Jock) and "Miss Nelly" (Miss Ellie) on a fake vacation ("Fakation"?)  so that he'll be free to develop that land that's he's trying to buy (or whatever).

A few gags later, "J.D." ends up on top, as usual.  With his schemes successful and his enemies thwarted, there's nothing left to do but aim higher.  Looks like some politicians of the day want to court him for a presidential run:

As a post script to this story, I'll add that the idea of J.R. Ewing running for president was considered a few other times.  It was a great promotional stunt for the show if you're lucky, maybe you'll run across a campaign button or one of these old matchbook covers:

Let's Open Five Packs of Dallas Trading Cards

Now is as good a time as any to crack open these packs of Dallas Trading Cards (or Bubble Gum Cards, as it says on the packages).  I've picked these beauties up over the years at flea markets and eBay it's time to get 'em unwrapped, catalogued and filed away...because  that's what I do apparently.

These are from Donruss, a major sports and non-sports trading card company from awhile back, and were released in 1981 when the show was a juggernaut.   As was common at the time, it looks like original artwork was commissioned for the wrapper.  I don't know who the artist was (but I would love to) but here is his or her interpretation of the cast:

I don't recall Jock's bright red cowboy hat but other than that the likenesses are pretty good.  It may be hard to understand the potential customer for collectible cards for what is essentially an adult oriented soap opera but you have to remember what a phenomena this show was.  This was after "Who Shot J.R.?" and everyone and everything was all about the Ewing clan.

One of the first realizations you have when you are opening up 36 year old cards is that a stick of gum isn't meant to hang around that long.  And if you want to keep your cards in good shape then you don't want them next to whatever that gum is made of because what you'll get is a fusion of the two:

Yeah, that's gum and yeah, those aren't coming off.  Luckily, it only affected the first cards in each pack.  The rest are in somewhat decent shape and they fall into a few categories (that I just made up) and they are:

"Portraits"

"J.R., We Need to Talk About What You Did/Are About to Do"

"Looking Off Camera at Something"

And, of course, "J.R. Getting Shot"

Those are just s sample of the cards I got in this haul.  Sure, there were some doubles but, overall, I'm happy with the outcome.  I was hoping that there would be some text/stats on the back of each card but they went with the "puzzle" option. 

The back of each card has part of a picture and when you put them all together you can see the image.  I didn't have enough cards to get a good picture of the image otherwise I would have posted it.  So I guess my only option is to get more cards....to be continued?!?

Family Tradition

Before Larry Hagman's iconic role of J.R. Ewing in Dallas, he was Major Tony Nelson tasked with the job of keeping Jeanie away from Dr. Bellows on I Dream of Jeanie and even before that he was kicking around on a piece of ground in his hometown of Weatherford, TX.  The town formally awarded him "Favorite Son" status in the best way possible...a statue:

The statue was erected last year on his birthday (Sept. 21st...which has been named "Larry Hagman Day" by the town) and was sculpted by Kelly Graham.

Not too far from the statue is yet another famous former Weatherford resident who just happens to be Larry Hagman's mother.  Mary Martin was born there and was also associated with an iconic role: Peter Pan!

She won a Tony Award for playing the boy who never grew up on Broadway and was associated with the character throughout her career despite playing a wide range of roles on stage, film and television.

The statue has been standing vigil outside the town library since 1976 and was sculpted by Ronald Thomason.  Together these two statues are a mother/son combo celebrating the imagination and talent that can come from small town Texas.